When you first get to Japan, especially if you’re a decent-looking, well-dressed guy, you’ll probably notice that you don’t have trouble getting attention from Japanese women. Of course, they’re not all going to be throwing themselves at you, but you shouldn’t have much difficulty getting noticed.
Most guys like the attention – and who wouldn’t? But after you’ve been in Japan for a while, you will probably notice that there are several types of Japanese women who you might want to avoid in dating situations.
Here are a few…
These are the Japanese women who only want to date gaijin (foreigners). In a way, they are the Japanese female equivalent to the Western male “Asian fetish” guys. Of course, wanting to date gaijin is not wrong in and of itself – the problem is that these women are fixated on their own ideal of what a Western man is supposed to be able to do for them.
They have a romantic ideal in their mind, and they might not even care what you’re like as a person, they just want you to be their “cool Western guy” to hang out with. Anything but another unexpressive, unassertive Japanese guy. If you’re looking for just a casual, easy relationship, this might not be a bad thing, but if you want a more serious relationship with a Japanese woman, avoid the gaijin groupies.
These Japanese women only want to spend time with you in order to practice their English. (I know it sounds odd, but wait until you get over here.)
Many Japanese people are trying to learn English, in order to improve their careers or just as a hobby, and people pay quite a lot for lessons at eikaiwa (English conversation) schools like NOVA and GABA, as well online and cafe lessons. Some Japanese women are so interested in learning English that they will try to monopolize your time – just to get some free English lessons.
Especially if you’re a man with a high-paying job, watch out for these women. There are some Japanese women who view foreign men as an opportunity to get free dinners, free jewelry, free clothes.
This has changed, as Japanese men have grown increasingly confident and there’s a certain allure in a stable salaryman. So don’t get me wrong. This isn’t the Philippines and being non-Japanese does not equal rich. But for Western men, at least, there’s an assumption you’re not a construction worker or a part-timer.
If you live in Roppongi Hills and frequent high-end clubs, beware of becoming too attached to a woman who only loves your money.
Crazies (and bad drunks)
Japan is a different culture from what you’re used to, and people don’t always act in a way that fits your usual patterns for social behavior. So watch out for the crazy girls.
You might meet a girl who you think (at first) is just really cute, quirky, and genki (energetically cheerful), but over time it turns out that she’s emotionally unstable, manipulative, or worse. Just be careful. This can happen the country over. It happened to me with a clingy girl in Sapporo who, along with her friends, bailed on the karaoke and many drinks.
It takes a while to learn how to “read” people in the cultural context of Japan, and you should be prepared for the possibility of running into a few “crazies.” If a Japanese girl is immediately touchy-feely with you, or otherwise very assertive, that is NOT normal. She’s probably very drunk or up to something.
What are some other types of Japanese women to watch out for?