Malaysia is a country with generally warm, friendly, and hospitable people. But while the country is quite developed, the dating scene is still considered conservative. You won’t find the women as forthcoming as in the Philippines, or as used to foreigners as in Thailand. That has its ups and downs, but Malaysia can be a real gem for those who like things a bit more structured.
Also, English is commonly spoken in Malaysia and will almost never pose a problem unless you’re out in the province. But, where can you meet Malaysian women? And how?
For one, with dating apps and interracial relationships becoming increasingly common, the idea of Malaysian women dating foreign men is also becoming more common. A recent report found that 65% of Malaysian women are open to interracial relationships. Lockdowns and loneliness are helping that along.
Like in many major cities, in Kuala Lumpur, and to a lesser degree in Penang, it’s relatively easy to meet single Malaysian women. As with any foreign culture for you, the more you learn the language and the culture, the less you’ll come plowing in with your Western preconceptions. In all Asian countries, the ability to “read the air” and control your emotions is valued. And while your English is seen a great asset, your ability to even speak a bit of their language shows your decency and respect.
Knowing the culture and religion is a good place to start, so we’ll start there. Then we’ll get to the specifics of where to meet women in Malaysia and how to meet women in Malaysia.
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How culture and religion affect dating in Malaysia
Probably the biggest factor to keep in mind is Malaysia’s multi-ethnic mix and the influence of Islam.
There are three main ethnicities in Malaysia – Chinese, Malay, and Indian. Each has its own traditions, religions, and different views of dating, especially when it comes to Western foreigners. All three can be quite “conservative” in different social, cultural, and religious ways. At the core, people are people, though. Women are women.
Chinese Malaysian women
Chinese Malaysians probably have the most in common with Western foreigners. Most Chinese Malaysians speak good English and are Christian, Catholic, or Buddhist.
They have no, or few, restrictions on dress and worship. Women’s conservatism may be more in the family and the general culture and expectations placed on them. For this reason, many/most of the foreign men in Malaysia who date local women are dating the Chinese.
Chinese Malaysian girls can be a charming mix of classic Chinese beauty with a more easy-going and warm-weather vibe than mainland or Hong Kong Chinese. That can be very attractive.
Ethnic Malaysian women
Ethnic Malay and Western cultures have more differences in beliefs and traditions. Malay Muslims are the most conservative as they are bound by Islamic practices and laws. For example, Malaysian law requires non-Muslims to convert to Islam upon marriage with a Muslim.
So a woman has to make a huge choice if she’s going to go against this. It’s also illegal for foreign men to sleep with local Muslim women before marriage.
This means that, while you may find some exoticism or challenge in dating an ethnic Malay, be very aware that, if you’re not Muslim, you’re getting into some dangerous territory. Love can conquer all, just be really careful.
Indian Malaysian women
Indian Malaysians are mostly Hindu. While some may be open to dating a Western foreigner, most would prefer to date within their own race. This is because of their cultural upbringing and traditional beliefs. Families typically expect the daughters to marry Indian men, wherever they’re from.
That said, non-Muslim Indians also have fewer restrictions on dress and behavior, and they do after all come from the land of the Kama Sutra.
It is entirely possible for a Western man to date an Indian Malay. The family may be the biggest obstacle to consummating your romance.
So with that background, let’s get into where to meet lovely women in Malaysia.
Dating sites and apps
Dating sites and apps have changed the dating scene in Malaysia, as they have all over the world. One-night stands and casual relationships are still not culturally accepted or spoken about, but the introduction of these apps has opened that conversation. Even before the apps, of course, people were people.
YouGov found 3 out of 10 Malaysians are actively using online dating apps, and that was a few years back. You can bet it’s higher now, especially with COVID. This has made online dating mainstream in Malaysia, making it easier to meet Malaysian women.
Given the conservative traits of basically all Malaysian women, don’t expect any girl to agree on an in-person date immediately. They generally want to get to know you through text or phone calls before agreeing to meet in person. This isn’t the Philippines where you might right-swipe a girl on Tinder and 30 minutes later she’s hopping on a jeepney to come meet you in Makati.
This is Malaysia. She probably has a job and a family. She doesn’t need you as much. You’ll usually have to go a bit slower.
No matter the kind of relationship you’re looking for, dating apps are a great avenue to meeting Malaysian women. Four leaders in this area are:
MalaysianCupid
MalaysianCupid is another in the ever-present Cupid lineup of dating sites/apps (including the catch-all asiandating.com). Consistent with the Cupid lineup, it’s about as trustworthy and active as these sites come.
MalaysianCupid is one of the most reputable dating app in Malaysia. It allows you to filer your matches based on language and location preferences. This means you don’t have to be in the country to meet Malaysian women. You can use its website for easier searching and log in with the matching app as well.
Tinder
Tinder’s easy swipe-to-like feature makes it popular in large urban areas like Kuala Lumpur and Penang. And even in conservative-leaning Malaysia, it’s mostly used for casual dating.
Tinder doesn’t need much explanation. It’s the same superficial app you find the world over. So make sure you have a couple of good photos on there and be ready for the usual back-and-forth blahblah.
Tinder: it sucks, but it works.
Bumble
Similar to Tinder, Bumble is also popular in large urban areas. You’re more likely to meet an open Malaysian woman on Bumble due to it’s feature of having the woman send the first message.
That may seem like it sucks, and the system doesn’t always work so great when the women are shy. But you’ll generally find Malaysian women on Bumble are pretty “liberated” and they’re often connected with the West, such as having been a student or working in a Western country. Or working at a foreign firm.
The author personally dislikes this app greatly, but gets why Westernized women may prefer it. The author also has heard of good success with this app and suspects that success correlates with the men’s appearance and earnings.
Sweet Ring
As its name suggests, Sweet Ring is more common for Malaysian women who are seeking a serious relationship or marriage. That may or may not be the case, but it’s the premise.
The app relies again on the superficial “swipe” system letting you “like” or “pass” on up to 100 choices, then you have to wait a couple of days. So it’s basically another Tinder copycat, but it’s still worth a look. And again, you’ll probably have to pay for a membership to start really getting dates.
Badoo and Tantan
Being a Chinese app, Badoo and Tantan are going to be a good place to find Chinese Malaysian women. They’re both swiping apps and they’re both popular. The author has seen some stunning women on Tantan in particular. But we all know how well filters work.
Both apps are free to get going with and get a taste for what’s on there before paying for a membership.
A more human and structured method is the dating agency.
Dating agencies in Malaysia
Matchmaking has a long tradition in Malaysia, as in many Asian countries, though it’s rapidly become old-fashioned. Women want to choose for themselves. Good on them! Though the good thing about the matchmaking system was that it worked for busy, shy, or remotely located singles.
The modern form of matchmaking is dating agencies, which have made it more practical for the present day.
Dating agencies are more popular with professionals who are exploring serious relationships. Initial consultations are usually free, but there is a fee once you’ve agreed to the matching process and date.
These agencies take into consideration age differences, interests, and occupation. They also consider what you’re looking for in a partner. They then match profiles and sets up a date for you to meet your match.
These are suitable for those who are already working and living in Malaysia, but don’t have the time to browse through dating apps.
Lunch Actually and Dateworks are the largest and most reputable dating agencies, operating in both Malaysia and Singapore. So you can add the Island City as an option. You can opt for a phone call or in-person consultation with a qualified matchmaker.
If you’re a working professional, you might actually enjoy this method. No, it’s not all that romantic, but they’re efficient. Especially for women, they offer some protection and reassurance. So you may very well find some really accomplished and superb Malaysian women through an agency. And yes, you’ll have to pay for it.
Shopping malls
The sheer number of shopping malls in KL especially provides you with lots of opportunities to meet Malaysian women the “old fashioned way” (i.e., going up and talking to them).
Women, being women, are in shops, restaurants, bookstores. There’s potential for you to strike up a conversation with a Malaysian woman.
There are over 20 main malls in Kuala Lumpur, and over 50 in Malaysia with some attracting over 3 million visitors a month. As in the Philippines, Thailand, Indonesia, and all the hot countries, malls aren’t just for shopping – they’re air-conditioned oases for spending large chunks of time.
Some of the most popular are:
Like in other countries, in Malaysia it may not be illegal to talk to a woman in a shopping mall, but how well you’ll be received depends on that mix of your appearance, demeanor, what you’re up to, the mall or store, and its own rules, her mood, if she’s with a boyfriend, and all that.
The common social cues should be practiced. Be respectable, sincere, and not outwardly straightforward. Most Malaysian women are friendly, but cautious about strangers approaching them.
Make yourself presentable, smile, be positive, don’t get all up in her personal space, and you should be fine. Do be especially cognizant that Muslim women in Muslim attire may be accompanied by a man and you should definitely not get “touchy”. You have been warned. As for other women, it’s not much different than in the West.
Bars and nightclubs
Part of Malaysia’s appeal is its tolerance among the distinct cultures. While some may forbid alcohol or certain types of behavior, there is still plenty of drinking and certain types of behavior going on. This includes vibrant nightlife.
With “Ladies Night” or “Singles Night” happening every week, your chance of meeting a Malaysian woman at these venues is pretty good. And as with anywhere, a guy in his 20s or 30s and with some cool friends is obviously better suited to this environment than the pensioner. Sorry lads, this isn’t Soi Cowboy or Mango Square.
You’ll find the nightlife more like Singapore or the upscale parts of Bangkok. Well-dressed, well-funded types. The discussion here centers on KL, but the scene in Penang is a bit more laid back and there are plenty of places to grab a drink and a live band if you’re playing it cool.
Some top, and relatively upscale, nightspots in KL are:
Nightclubs are where Malaysian women go to meet men or to just dance with their female friends (yeah yeah).
Take note of who she’s with before approaching her. You’re more likely to find Chinese Malaysians and Indian Malaysians at nightclubs. They may also be with guys who’ve paid for the table and the drinks, so they’re not at all interested in getting to know you. If you’re heading into those groups uninvited, you’d better be good at making friends and know when you’re not wanted there.
If you prefer something more casual and quieter, there’s no shortage of bars and lounges in Malaysia. These lounges boast a wide array of cocktails and a good setting to start a conversation. Many are located and swanky hotels:
Bars and lounges are where Malaysian women go to unwind with their friends and coworkers. The same social cues should be practiced as if you’re approaching a Malaysian woman at a shopping mall.
Social events
Joining social events is a great sober way to meet Malaysian women. The well-known Meetup social networking platform is active here as well.
The platform allows users to create private or public groups and organize social events. Meetup has been a place to find singles events in Malaysia, among other less obvious ways to meet your mate.
Attending these events often means you’ll be meeting like-minded singles. Or at the least, you’ll just make some friends.
Although the groups are not geared towards the dating scene, the potential to meet someone is there. Groups such as Singles Group in Malaysia, Global Singles Meet, Single and Mingle Group are some groups to start with.
There are groups in Meetup for any activity. Whether you prefer outdoor activities or pub crawls, you should be able to find something to suit you.
Certain bars and restaurants also organize social events for their customers. These can include wine tastings and open mic nights. That’s all basically no different than in most Western countries.
Malaysian women are generally social and active, preferring to meet people in public settings, at least for starters.
These groups provide that atmosphere and give you a chance to get to know Malaysian women in a casual setting. There are still events happening despite the pandemic, but with fewer attendees allowed. You may want to register early to secure your spot.
Mutual friends
Meeting a Malaysian woman through a mutual friend is a tried and tested approach. It presents a sense of trust and a casual setting for a first date.
Some Malaysian women prefer meeting foreign guys this way. It gets rid of the need to verify if someone’s real, as you’d have to through a dating app. If you have friends in Malaysia, and you’re open to the opportunity, have them introduce you to a nice girl.
This is especially recommended if you’re working there, as KL, in particular, is an on-the-go city. Many of the best girls are slaving away at their jobs all day. So you might not otherwise get the chance to meet them unless you’re aggressively into cold approaching.
If you’re over 50, don’t expect to get paired up with a gorgeous 20-something. You’re more likely to be introduced to older singles. Be clear about your hopes.
People in the same circle usually have shared interests. If you’re meeting a Malaysian woman through a mutual friend, you’ll already have that friend in common, and probably other things as well. So that’s better than starting from scratch.
Having a mutual friend introduce you to a Malaysian woman eases the worry around culture and age differences. Your friend would act as a facilitator and get the introduction out of the way. She would already know what to expect before meeting you, as would you before meeting her.
Sometimes, an old-fashioned basic approach is the best way.
Meeting Malaysian women is not that much different from meeting women in other countries. This is because the urban areas in Malaysia are heavily influenced by Western culture. They’re often friendly when approached, and open to conversation. Dating Western foreign men is also becoming more of a commonplace than it was 10 years ago.
Just keep the culture in mind, especially if she’s in traditional garb and with men. That can get you into some trouble.
Deciding where you can potentially meet Malaysian women is up to you. You can decide to meet them while you’re abroad or when you’re in the country. Naturally, COVID’s a factor and Malaysia is in and out of restrictions. Social distancing, masks, and all that may always be a factor.
